Day 3 - Escape From The Storm

Day 3 - 12/24/2008
21:00
Knoxville TN.

Getting out of Virginia proved pretty difficult as the valley I was in was hit by heavy fog that reduced visibility to only a few feet ahead. I took this picture when it cleared up a bit.


I never realized how much snow Virginia gets. When most northerners like myself think of the south, we think of it being worm all year long, like in California. Not so. At least not in Appalachia. I listened to reports of a major ice storm coming to the area, and drove on as fast as possible to avoid it.


There really isn't much to write about today, so I apologize for this pathetically short post. I did learn from the back of a pick up truck that Obama was going to take our taxes and flush our freedom.


At the Virginia-Tennessee border route 11 splits into 2 separate routes, 11E and 11W, both of which go north and south.
They meet up in Knoxville and once again continue as one united 11. I chose 11W, and was in Knoxville a couple of hours later. That is where I am now. It is Christmas Eve, and to call the city a ghost-town would be an overstatement. The hotel has an exercise room, so I will pretend that I am not exhausted, lift weights, then put my head down to get an early start tomorrow.

Day 2 - I Don't Need Your Civil War

Day 2 - 12/23/2008
23:00
Harrisonburg VA

I began the drive from Scranton and headed south passing through several rural Pennsylvania towns, many of which reminded me of the town in The Deer Hunter (I laughed because I even accidentally stumbled upon classical guitar music on the radio, just like in that movie's soundtrack). Little communities built on hillsides of some of the most beautiful scenery I've ever seen. Obviously, my crappy pictures can not do it any justice.





Maryland and West Virginia were also beautiful, but there isn't much to write about. The drive was very slow. Route 11 passes through a lot of residential neighborhoods where the speed limits can be as low as 25mph.

Eventually I crossed into western Virginia, and was around the city of Harrisonburg when the sun went down. I saw city lights off of the route to my left, and headed off in that direction, eventually coming to a spot with about 6 hotels next to each other. I called each one to find out their rates and settled with the cheapest one.

As I arrived in the lobby, I was greeted by a young man with a close resemblance to Kenneth from the TV show 30 Rock. Like the character, he was extremely polite and proper. I signed the room contract, and asked him what there was to do in the city as far as places to go out to or to just look around.
"Oh there's nothing like that, and besides, you don't want to go into town, there's lots of people out, and it'll be hard to park."
"Is there a good place to drink?"
"Oh, no, I don't know about that, no, there's some restaurants right around the hotel if you just want a bite to eat though".
I looked over the counter to Kenneth's desk and saw a book with a title along the lines of "Ebracing God", or something of that nature. I thanked him.
On the table in my room there was a copy of a bible complete with a guide on the best way for beginners to read it, and the main lessons that should be taken in from specific parts. I thanked Jesus for the cheap hotel rate, walked out of my room, passed Kenneth in the lobby as he gave me a concerned look akin to one you would give to someone walking into a lethal situation, and went out to explore.

The temperature was down in the low teens, which made it painful to walk around. There were some historical sites from the civil war, but nothing that struck out at me, so I walked into a bar & grill and ordered a beer and a steak. Two middle aged women sat down one chair away and had a very loud conversation about a reality TV show. I could sense that the one closer to my chair wanted to make conversation, and I knew it was inevitable that she would force me to talk to her at some point. I gave myself as much time as possible by looking straight at the TV, but when the bartender asked how the food was, that was her in. "Well, it sure smells great, they have great food here, I really love it." She introduced herself & her friend, and told me they were from some close by town where there are caves that were used by some southern civil war general. I think about 65% of conversations I've ever had in the south somehow make it back to the civil war. I pretended to be impressed, paid the bill, and left.

Day 1 - Meet Me Tonight in Electric City.

Day 1 - 12/22/2008
18:00
Red Carpet Inn (sans red carpet), Route 11, Scranton, PA

As planned, I took off from Boston at 03:00, and arrived in Rouses Point, NY, right around 07:30. Not counting about 15 minutes of wind and snow in Vermont, the drive was smooth. I can probably count on two hands the number of cars I saw on the highways from Boston to Burlington VT. There were two shooting stars. That's probably not a big deal for most people, but I spend 99% of my time in a city, so it's something I've never seen before.

Anyhow, I got to Rouse's Point, checked out Lake Champlain, and headed west alongside the border before the road slowly curved to the south. Not much action in New York's north country. Incredibly cold, and a lot of old mills & mill towns. On two occasions I saw people traveling in horse and buggies.



In one of my Route 1 entries, I commented on what I thought was a southern phenomenon of dogs running around on major roadways and getting hit by cars. Clearly this does not only happen in the south, and much like shooting stars is just another thing that I've never seen. First, there was a puppy with a pink collar lying on the side of the road, then a couple of hours later I had to swerve at the top of a hill when I saw two dogs hanging around nonchalantly in the lane I was in.



I always took it for being one big college town, and once again I was wrong. A lot of people around. Most areas I saw were depressed and had building boarded up. It reminded me of Albany a little bit, but then there's a certain something about all cities in New York state and southern Connecticut. It's that really cool no bullshit attitude people carry themselves with. I get that from everyone regardless of age, ethnicity, dress, or social status, and I haven't seen it anywhere else in the country. You can tell by their demeanor that they don't give a fuck what anyone thinks, they're going to do what they're going to do, and they could care less what it is you do. Love that.




After the PA border, Route 11 travels along a nice looking creek, then turns into a freeway. As the sun went down, the freeway ended and turned into one of the main streets in downton Scranton. I saw a Red Carpet Inn, which advertised cheap rates and internet access. Sold. $50 in the heart of downtown isn't bad.
I'll go chek out the city now and report back in a few hours.


22:30
Walked all around downtown Scranton. Most of the stores were closed, which was too bad because there was a cool looking record store I would love to have visited. I saw some of the historic sites, and read up on what was written next to them. They call themselves the electric city because they were the first city in the US to have a trolley system. There were a fair number of cars on the road, but as far as pedestrians go, the sidewalks were pretty much empty, making it look like somewhat of a ghost town. Not sure if that was because of the freezing cold, or the holidays, or what, but I shrugged it off and kept going, checking out what I could.



I looked for a place to get a drink, and maybe a bite to eat. A number of decent looking places, but none of them had more than a couple people inside, and I wasn't feeling it. I was on the way back to the room, and noticed a sports bar called Whistle's close to the hotel. I ordered a Yuengling and chicken wings, smoked, talked with the bartender who had nothing interesting to say, ate the wings, stared at some college football game I didn't give a shit about, had another Yuengling, and left. $9.80, not bad.

Tomorrow, my guess is I'll write from somewhere in the western Virginia.

From The Lands Of Hockey To The Lands Of Gumbo

Here we go again!

Last time you heard from me, I had finally achieved the mission of driving down the entire stretch of US Route 1. It's been a year since then, and I'm at it again, this time covering US Route 11. Route 11 has a northern terminus in a place called Rouses Point, NY, which is a little village by Lake Champlain, on the border of New York, Vermont, and Canada. The southern terminus is in the great city of New Orleans, LA.
So...to recap the rules of my road trips.

• Drive on and only on a given route, with the exception of perhaps veering off a bit for a cheap motel.
  
• Drives will begin each morning a little before sunrise and stop a bit after sunset, as it would not make sense to do this in the dark when I can not see the surroundings.
  
• The days are short this time of year so stops must be kept to a minimum.
  
• There can be no geographic discrimination of where the stopping points will be, only that they will be right around where I'm located at the time when it is too dark to see things around me.
  
• If I'm anywhere even remotely interesting, I will wonder around at night.

The plan is to leave Boston at 03:00 Tuesday 12/22/2009, so as to get to Rouses Point by sunrise, which is around 07:30 (by the way, I'm cheating a little as I'm writing this 1st post after the actual first day of driving has been completed, but that was my plan, and I did stick to it successfully).
All right, without further ado, lets drive!

1,500 Miles to a Tourist Trap = Victory!

Day 5 12/23/2008
9am on the 24th
Somewhere in the Florida keyes, FL (just east of Key Largo)

The lady at the Town & Country Inn was up at 6:45am, and was looking at me from the office as I put my things back into the car. I waved goodbye and drove away. Day 3's post had already been uploaded from the wireless I found at the motel, so I wouldn't need to make any stops besides gas, and that's something I've been doing only once a day. Oh yeah, then there was food, of course. I didn't see any cool looking road diners, and there was no time to stop anyhow, so eating crap at drive-throughs would have to do. I was hoping for Dunkin Donuts. I saw a Starbucks first, and got a coffee there. The lady at the drive through was joking around and giving me good natured shit, like joking and saying 'No' to my order. There was a Dunkin a couple hundred yards away, and I drove through that to get a sandwitch. The drive-through lady there gave me shit for having a Starbucks coffee. I don't know if that was a coffee shop thing, or if people in Florida are shit talkers like we are up in New England. I enjoy shit talking.




The ride was going well and I was making excellent time, but around the Ft. Lauderdale area things began to slow down. It was still only the afternoon, so I wasn't too concerned with the traffic just yet. Little did I know that I would be stuck in it for almost all of Southern Florida.



Miami is a beautiful city. I've never been there before. There's something about the structure of the skyscrapers that looks different from anywhere else.


Just past the city, I got stuck in one the worst traffic jams of my life. It was like trying to drive through NYC's Broadway at rush hour. And even when those lights are green, the cars barely move an inch. I had a smoke...speaking of which, I never told you about the smoking rules in my car...

It is easy to chain smoke on the road. There is not much to do beside drive, listen to music, drink coffee, and think...all things that make even light smokers crave cigarettes. Rules must be in place, therefore, to prevent the vehcile and the lungs of the humans inside from odor of an ashtray. There are only two.

One cigarette per person is allowed after a state border is crossed. This rule makes it tough in long states such as Florida, but hey, I did't make the rules. (I did actually, but it sounded better to say I didn't).
One cigarette per person is allowed while stuck in traffic. Which of course begs the question..."How do you define 'traffic'?"

Phil's Definition of 'Traffic': Traffic is when the speed of the vehicle is less than half of the posted speed limit, with either one of the following 2 scenarios...
1) for a period of longer than 30 seconds, with the cause, and therefore, the end of the traffic not visible to the driver.
2) for a period of longer than 5 minutes, with the cause, and therefore, the end of the traffic visible to the driver.

So basically, what this means on the highway, is that if you are, for example, driving through a work zone, and simply slow down for a couple of seconds, you can not call that traffic. If you can see the road work, but are stopped for more than 5 minutes, then that counts as well. Off of the highway, if you are stuck at a red light, that is not traffic. However, if that light (or whatever else the cause of the stoppage may be) is so far away that you can not see it, then that is traffic. If there are cars still stuck past the light, and you can not see where this ends, that is also traffic.

Two instances of traffic must be separated by at least 5 minutes of a constant non-traffic situation, to be counted as two separate instances. This definition is in place to prevent vehicle occupants from lighting up 2 separate cigarettes on what is really part of the same traffic jam.

Anyways, every time this traffic let up just a little bit, it was still extrememely congested, then would come to total halt once again. I would give you another picture but people in cars get weird about getting their pictures taken, and were already pissed off as is.

There are always those idiots on the road that try to outspeed everyone else that is stuck, by switching from lane to lane in an ultra-aggressive manner. The problem isthat they're also always tailgating the car in front of them, don't have a picture of what the hell is going on, and switch to whatever lane has space at the moment. They want instant gratification. Outsmarting, and fucking with these people brings me a great deal of joy in these boring situations. My years of experience in city driving has taught me that it's important to always undertand the whole picture as to what's going on around you. You must see have an aerial view in your head. If you think about what's going on in the jam, and why, you can maneuver things to your advantage without being an asshole. The best is pulling up next to them after they've passed you, and looking as if you're completely unaware of the fact that they lost. I saw one of these idiots yesterday. His car had about 17 dents of varying severity. He had a Country 99.5 bumper sticker. So I thought I'd tune in. See post from Day 2.

The traffic really was brutal. I had the end so close in site and just wanted to finish. I could no longer listen to music, news, or anything else. With the smell of success in the air, The only thing to concentrate on was the road and getting out of the gridlock to finish in time.


Things cleared up just before the starting point of the Florida Keyes. It was about 4:30 with the sun scheduled to go down right before 6. From that point to Key West is at least a 2 hour drive. I was cutting it way too close, but didn't care. If I had to bend the rules to finish, fuck it. I earned this one. Racing at full speed, I reached the 60 mile marker, and flipped on the "Best of Rocky" album, to add to the dramatic effect. The highway ended. For those of you from New England, what I saw next looked like the most tourist trap section of Cape Cod on steroids. Novely shops, tacky restaurants, Hawaian shirts, mopeds. Where the hell was I? Did I really drive 1,500 miles to show up at a tourist trap?! Yes, because that is in fact, what I did. But No, because the real destination of this trip was a little sign on a street parallel to the mayhem. I had arrived. Mission accomplished!


Getting the picture taken was a bit of an obstacle as the street it is on is not a touristy street, and there are not too many people around. I was taking pictures of the signs by themselves when some German tourists walked by. I asked them to take a picture of me. The lady took one that sucked, and offered to take another. The second one sucked as well. I decided this was useless, and thanked them. The Germans were confused as to why I was getting my picture taken there,and started taking pictures of themselves. A few minutes later I walked back, and saw what I think was a local couple sitting on their porch across the street. They were in their twenties. The guy had long hair. The girl was fat. They were smoking.
"Excuse me, can I ask a gigantic favor, could yo take a picture of me with that sign?" The longhair made a motion with his head toward his woman. The fatass looked at me.
"Oh, I don't know, its raining."
To call the precipitation mist would have been an exaggeration.
"Thanks anyway," I said, and walked away. Hey, I understand, she was lazy and fat, what could she do? I would have to settle with the photos I had.
I was starving and needed to eat as I had not had anything since the morning sandwich because of the hurry I was in. I saw a sports bar with gigantic high definition TVs.
They had the Bruins & Celtics games next to each other, amazing. I sat at the bar, ordered a burger and a Yuengling. There was a guy sitting close by who was from New Hampshire and rooting for the Bruins. We started up one of those awkward conversations that sports fans of the same team and who do not know each other feel like they should be having.
"They're looking great this year"
"Yeah, Thomas has been unreal"
"Its a great time to be a sports fan in New England"
On and on with bullshit like that. The game was very good. Bruins won 1-0. I had another Yuengling, took off, and walked by the sign one final time.

Asian Tourists to the Rescue! Yes, once again on this trip, there were asian tourists taking pictures of themselves, and I asked them to take one of me. (How great would this story be if they were the same guys from the Washington Monument? I wish.) These asian tourists were not good photographers like the ones in Washington, but better than the Germans. The picture still sucks, but whatever, it's proof.




And so the journey ended. I really didn't feel like sticking around Key West, and anyways the hotels there were ridiculously priced. I drove back up 1 North, for a couple of hours, got a cheap motel, and was too tired to write an entry. Now I'm posting this at a Starbucks. There are children screaming in French, and I need to take off ASAP if I'm going to make it back by tomorrow night.

I will write again when I get back with anything I forgot to mention, as well as final thoughts.

Tunes:
The Doors -Morrison Hotel
Sun Ra - Atlantis
Billy Joel - The Stranger
Rolling Stones - Beggars Banquet
Sleep - Holy Mountain
Miles Davis - Kind of Blue
some other shit I don't remember.

Finding the Holiday Cheer

Day 4 12/22/2008
10:45 pm

Town & Country Motel, Port Orange, FL (just outside Daytona Beach)

I left the city of James Brown a little after sunrise, a bit later than I should have. Georgia was cold in the morning. I'd say about 30 degrees with a strong wind.


Route 1 in Georgia was mostly very rural, broken up by the occasional small city and/or strip mall.




In Waycross GA, I stopped at a liquor store to pick up a bottle of Blackberry Brandy, which I was told in a text message from back home, Georgia was famous for. I walked in. The man behind the counter spoke with a heavy Georgia accent. He wished me a Merry Christmas. I've never heard of Blackberry Brandy, nor know anything about it, so I asked him what they have, excusing myself for my northern ignorance on the subject. He walked over and showed me his favorite. The finest. It was $10 for a fifth. I bought that and a pint of Absolute that I'm drinking now. When I showed him my license, he said, "Why, you really sure are from up North. What brings you down to Georgia?" I told him I have family in Florida that I'm visiting for Christmas, and took some small Georgia roads to see the country. He was a very nice fellow, and I didn't want to inflict him with the bizarre true nature of my journey. He again wished me a Merry Christmas, I wished him one as well, and was on my way.


Shortly after, I was in Florida. The Sunshine State.


My stereo is much louder when in radio mode as opposed to the auxilliary mode from which I play the ipod. I constantly forget this, and am a little startled whenever I flip it back to the radio because of how loud it suddenly gets. This happened again today after passing Jacksonville, except this time the station the stereo was dialed into from back in Georgia was blaring Winger's "She's Only 17". Now THAT is exactly how I pictured being in Florida would be like. I knew I had arrived. In an attempt to fit in the with the locals, I cranked Winger up even louder, opened the windows, and rode on.


Some distance later, I saw my road internet provider, Starbucks, and went in to upload yesterday's entry. I was working away when two men sat down at a table next to mine. Initially, I wasn't paying attention to what they were talking about, but overheard the words 'faith' & 'prayer'. A woman walked in and joined them. One of the men was saying something about how he's always praying. I deciphered that the man was some kind of a priest who was going to marry the two others. I tuned them out again, finished uploading the entry, and logged into my work computer to see if there was anything urgent I needed to take care of. 56 emails since my first day off last Friday. Ugh. No exclamation point symbols next to the subject lines though. That's a good sign. I still started going through them and doing a little bit of work. Then, miraculously, I lost the internet connection, and was unable to log back on. If that did not happen I probably would have been hooked and wasted another hour. It truly was a miracle! I think it was the preacher's doing. THERE IS A GOD!!!

On I drove, passing Daytona Beach. The sun went down, and the album I was listening to stopped. I saw a motel on the side of the road. Apparently, holiday cheer was found there, or so the sign said. A nice lady in her forties or fifties answered the door. She said they had rooms for $35 or $40. I asked what the difference was. She said the $40 rooms had heat. It was getting down into the forties, and windy. I paid the extra $5.


The town I'm in is called Port Orange. Its just south of Daytona, so I drove back up to Daytona Beach, the place famous for its bike week and and car races, to take a look around.



OK place, a little tacky. Very few people walking around, but lots of cars. It was too dark to see the ocean on the beach. A restaurant I passed was playing 'American Girl' by Tom Petty, a Floridian. I drove back to my room.

My back has been cramping up a little from all the driving. I need to stretch more. I've also been eating crap most of the time. I'm doing pushups, sit ups, squats, 100 reps each, before and after bed. I wish hotels had pull up bars, so I could do those too.

Hopefully, tomorrow the mission will be accomplished, but I'll really need to get going just before sunrise, and not mess around. The good news is that I found an unsecured network here that I can use to post this from, instead of having to stop at Starbucks again. Today's drive was about 360 miles, a lot of which was on fast highways. Tomorrow's is 410. If I do finish tomorrow, I could start the drive back to Boston on Wednesday morning and be home by Thursday night, 12/25. The directions I found say that the drive from Key West to Boston is 27 hours. I could do that in two days no problem.

Today's music selections:
James Brown - The Godfather: The Very Best of James Brown
Woody Guthrie - Dust Bowl Ballads
Misfits - Legacy of Brutality
Bob Dylan - Blonde on Blonde
John Coltrane - Meditations
Muddy Waters - The Chess Box, Disc2
Jimmi Hendrix - First Rays of the New Rising Sun
Fear - The Album